


Unexpected Expectations

by WhiteFedora



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), F/F, Homestuck - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Other, Slow Burn, first fanfic, many ships, school au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-14 22:04:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11217171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteFedora/pseuds/WhiteFedora
Summary: Dave Strider, honourable and popular school boy coming close to celebrate the day where the sperm and egg collided. Aspiring to be a DJ and helpful neighbour. Or so he hopes to.Karkat Vantas, getting off Alternia for the first time in his life and entering a whole new world. Unexcited and solemn, entering a mixed school brings hopes of new friends, humans even. However, he's messed-up neighbours makes him reconsider.Now, in the stage of growing up, both struggle through their life with unexpected expectations.





	1. The Grand Entrance

"Uh huh…alright...fine…....fuck no!.... Woman, I’m just...”

So, you might like to know what’s happening. Right now, you’re currently stuck in a jam, full of people who are yelling vulgarities. Usually vulgarities will be directed to you(or your family, the crowd love you guys), but hey, there’s a first for everything and it’s probably not going so well for the idiot who caused the accident. 

Poor dude, could have met him in some part of life, but didn’t expect to know the name “Vantas” through such a tragedy. Wait, how did you know their names?

“LOUSY FUCKING EXCUSE FOR A DRIVER,FUCKING VANTAS!” screams the outside of the car. Ah, right. Squinting your eyes as close as possible, there’s the car plate which writes out “VANTAS”. Shit, the dude’s wealthy, his car is fucking Mini-Cooper. No wonder he made an accident. Got all the money in world to not care of proper etiquettes of driving. Now that’s rich. 

You heard another muffled yell of… something, but definitely not local, and it’s being abused to the point of you remembering it.Probably Alternian or something, ...Spanish? Ah, you’re too cool to know this kind of shit. You’re too busy drawing your awesome comics and making sick music.

“Dave, I just talked to your sis. She’s gonna come pick your ass up and bring you to school instead.” That’s Dirk. Coolest brother alive but damn, he’s annoyingly interested in your studies.

You raised your brows and smirked, “ Shit, I thought Striders are good at anything. Coolest dudes that can get get out any situation. Bro, you just brought your name to the Wall of shame, right where Roxy pinned her undies at and -”

“What the fuck? She hasn’t brought it down yet? And no, I’ve have not brought shame to the striders name OR myself to be held in such a place. I planned everything out, was perfectly fine and bam, some idiot ram himself into a lorry like its all dandy....And ruin my perfect schedule to shambles.” Dirk sighed. Dirk lowered his gaze towards the mirror and stared into you. “Anyway, prepare your poor little heart for the best ride of your life.Just endure the intermission of Rose getting here with her bike.”

“How ironic that’ll be,” you lifted your shades and glared into the mirror, right where you see your brother’s eyes. Dirk sniggered at your horrifying future and looked forward, the direction of where the vehicle crashed.

“Looking forward to our neighbours.” Dirk blatantly comments. Wow, switching topics so smoothly to a completely unrelated o-

“Wait what? You never say anything out of topic during a situation, well except when you’re out with your geeky boyfriend which is by the way, lame as h-”

“Dave!”

“Anyway! Why are you referring to our neighbours for? They already left 1 month ago.” You frowned, clearly not understanding the situation.

Dirk clicked his tongue, turning back to face you.  
“Jesus, Dave, I didn’t know you were this stupid.I’m referring to the oh-so popular “Vantas” right in front of this jam.” 

Oh, so they’re the new neighbours.

Well, that’s a troubling factor. They already made themselves known in the neighbourhood…...AND moving in next to you. Well, since there's only that torn-down house beside yours which is vacant, so you're just guessing.

“Bro, please say we’re not going to introduce ourselves to them. The last time we did for the previous tenants, the parents at home thought we were horny teenage boys making a move on their precious daughter. And we honourably made it worse and became a "public nuisance". Being charged with many titles isn't cool.” You moved your hands wildly and aggressively, quickly to express your idea.

Dirk just shrugged , "Well, they apparently got the wrong idea because their daughter was pretty ugly, ugh.” He was quick to make a disgusted face. 

“Anyway, we gotta tell them they’re living near Striders and Lalondes. Gotta inform them beforehand to what to expect, like the last tenant." You could hear the heavy and irritated emphasise on "last tenant".

"And since these "Vantas" had the courtesy to make such a grand entrance to our fine city, we gotta make an effort to greet them.” Dirk grinned.

Well that got you interested.

Playing host and showing the newbies around? Should be easy as pie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this blissful Strider conversation. Constructive criticism is always welcomed and fangirling about Davekat is embraced. Thank you!


	2. Fun Facts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prepare ya hearts and asses for your host, introducing the one and only, magnificent and fabulous, DAVE STRIDER!!

What’s up peeps, my homies.

Name’s Dave Strider. So, I did not properly introduce myself on the first chapter. Hey, no hard feelings right? Anyway, I suppose I can use this chance to rain down some awesome Dave facts onto you guys.

Alright. Going straight to the point. So continuing from my name, I live in Derspit. It’s a place located in the middle of Derse City and New Prospit. Derse City is dark and a pretty shady place while New Prospit on the other hand is the flippin opposite. Bright skies and strong rays that can cook your eggs on the roadside. Im serious about this, don’t try it at home kids. Well, could probably get a free tan there.

Anyway, my fam which lives in the middle gets the best of both worlds. Technically, that means we’re both hot and cool. No wonder I’m so awesome.

I have two cousins which lives with us, so they’re considered sisters instead. Fun fact, their last name is Lalonde. Rose, the younger one, is a hateful ass but she’s wonderful. Goes to the same school but always different classes.Never go to her for therapy though, she sucks at it. Roxy on the other hand is a tipsy handler. No, she does not handle drugs, she handles a Nightclub. Hence, the word tipsy. You know, like drinks and all? Definitely not drugs.

Now comes us, the Striders. Moi, the one and only Dave Strider, embracing you with his presence. Goes to Derspit National School and aspiring to be a DJ to replace the piss-poor excuse of the one at my sis’s Nightclub. He insulted me for “horrible bass drops” and being a “lame brother” compared to his sister. Well, Karma’s a bitch and she’s gonna help me flip his shit until he begs to hear the sweet tunes from the Dave’s turntables. Maybe I could bring him to Rose’s therapy sessions…

Last and not least, Dirk Strider. Coolest dude around the block and ready to throw smuppets into your faces. Never understood why he made those but they apparently got him big in the porn industry. Now he’s coming up with a new design for...different fetishes. No wonder those people said we were horny teenagers. Skipping that, he got a boyfriend and in a very unstable relationship. This is top secret Strider stuff so no revealing of dirty do’s and nasty details. Also, brings in the cash, along side with Roxy.

So we’re done now? No more juicy details of Dave?  
.  
.  
.  
Nope. You better be fucking prepared for more doses of Dave.

I’m a top student in music and the lousiest in academics. Bro keeps saying shit about improving on my grades but how the hell am I gonna improve? I was born too awesome for it. 

Also, I’m bisexual. Mostly straight, but I had some masculine eye-catchers. Did the ‘deed’ with some already so I’m pretty experience. No worries, I had the ‘plastic bag’ with me. Kids, always have a plastic bag, it saves you a lot of trouble.

I have two awesome friends and including my sis, three. All humans. No offence to those… trolls out there, it’s just I have not have the chance to speak with you guys without being flipped off. Not stereotyping you guys, but hey, preferences ya’know? My whole fam as well, we ain’t that comfortable with the whole trolls coming in and be cozy with you all.

***Dancing Queen plays in the background***

Oh look, there’s a text from my bro. At...3 am in the morning. What the fuck, he does not usually message this late. He’s too protective to disturb my beauty rest. By the way, the ring tone is ironic. Well, let’s see what we got here. 

****

**Dirk bro**

_Dave. I got good news and bad news._

_Good news is that the next door neighbour is pretty friendly and looks like a whole male army in it. No worries about shrieking babies or midnight girly sleepovers._

_Not sure about midnight riff raffs._

_**well thats a good sign besides the LAST point** _ ********

********

_Decent looking people as well. Well, that one got a fine, plump ass. Time to remove that ring on your pinky finger...or the middle one and catch those hot marshmallows._

_**never fucking plan on removing both imaginary rings**_  
_**romance is tough and too hard**_  
_**and**_  
_**do not try to invite them to your porn company man and  
what’s the bad news?**_

_Well, I’ll try to reconsider._

_And Trolls. They’re trolls._

_And I’m not trolling you goddammit._

 

Well, shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knew typing on phone was this hard. Anyway, more longer chapters will be coming.Stay tuned and enjoy!  
> Constructive criticism is always welcomed!


	3. Unexpected Introduction

Oh shit.

OH SHIT. You’re late for school! 

Well you don’t care either way. You don’t even know the time and you’re too lazy to get off your comfortable red bed. It’s embrace around you is too tight and would not let go and the pillows,blanket and bolsters are accomplices in the crime! The curtains shield your virgin eyes from reality and the air conditioner made it cool for people like you to feel permanently locked in.

Now that’s a perfect excuse. Or so you think before your brother kicks the door open. 

“Get off the fucking bed, Dave.” Dirk had both his hands on his hips by the time the wooden door fell onto the floor. Way to go to destroying a beautiful atmosphere. He looks dressed to the nines. Where the hell is he going at this timing?

Your eyes flew to your alarm clock and it screams at you for your stupid sense of time. Fuck, already it’s four thirty, or thirty-one. So, why is your brother only waking you up now?

“Bro, its only the damn evening. What the hell do you even need?” You half-mumbled, half-complained. Despite it being late in the day, you still don’t care since school is technically already over. You just woke up and you're too tired for this shit. At least you made the effort to look back at your bro. Damn, you gotta say he looks pretty swag.

Dirk just stared at you, like deep staring into your soul. Oh shit, did you forget something important? Like he would not just stare straight into your soul unless something outstandingly of most importance to him. You quickly got up and unsuccessfully got tangled up in your blanket and sheets. Right, you forgot you hate tucking in your bed sheets.

“We’re going to meet the Vantas,” Dirk plainly explained as he tried to pull the sheets. You abruptly stop wiggling in your self-made cocoon and stayed still. You whined,” They’re trolls, bro.”

“And we’re their next-door neighbours.”

“But-” you retorted.

“No buts, mister. You can either get your ass out with me or be alone with drunk sisters that beg to have the answers to every single question about everything.”

You certainly do not want to hear about wizardly gay love, nor do you want to go through another crappy therapy session about your gender preference. Might as well give the trolls a shot.

“Alright, I’m in. On one condition though.”

“Shoot.”

“ I am not going to wear a suit.”

Dirk raised one eyebrow and thought about it. This happens all the time. Bro wants to leave a good impression but all goes to hell after his first sentence of greeting. That’s why he is still trying to find a “suitable outfit” of greeting.

“Fine, but you better find something proper for first impression,” Dirk grunted and left the room.You rolled out of your clinging sheets with ease and searched through your clothing options. 

**One hour later**

_"Hey coolkid, where did your ego went to,” she smirked, with you panting into her ears._

_The sounds and scenery quickly evaporated, and settled another down._

_“You fucker, where do you think you’re fucking going,” he hissed, shoving you to the wall, your back facing the wall and he started kissing your neck._

_The moment got blown away like dust and appeared another._

_“One..” “Last...” “TIME....” You breathed in heavily and let go in relief. “Strider, this is the last time.”_

_**They’re all the same. They’re all the fucking same.** _

Breathe in, breathe out. This people are just trolls, well technically just trolls, not people. We’re here to greet them, not eat dinner with them and get all hanky panky. No worries, Strider. Theses trolls are not like them. Not like them. Not like them.

“You okay, lil man?” Dirk glanced.

“Yeah, just fine and dandy.” You responded, straightening your back and pushing up your shades. This is no time to hyperventilate. You’re Dave Strider, coolest dude in school, you can handle the acknowledgement of these trolls. They’re not gonna to rip your heart to pieces and tear you guys in half. They’re not animals.

Dirk is doing this for me. He’s helping me.

Dirk pressed a button and a “ding dong” sound was emitted out. Brace yourself Strider, this could go well and become your first peace-making with trolls. The door opens and a grey skinned shortie was in view. The short troll eyes looked up and down, and then settle on our faces 

“What the fuck do you want?”

Well that did not go as expected.


End file.
